Is Your Giving & Receiving Out of Balance?

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This weekend, I cried...a lot. There was so much releasing. The tears weren’t from hurt. I experienced no physical pain.

They were from the releasing of old stories and the byproduct of experiencing the joy of surrendering more fully into love.

Have you ever experienced an incredibly powerful release of energy through tears?

Starting Saturday afternoon, I had a series of divinely inspired events that led me to opening my heart more than ever and releasing an old story that created resistance in my relationships and in my purpose.

This is what happened:

  • I didn’t listen to my intuition and allowed someone to guide me and my car through a tight squeeze I knew I wouldn’t fit through.
  • I popped a tire & damaged my bumper.
  • I called a tow truck because I don’t know how to change a tire.
  • I got shit done and navigated it all by myself like a "boss".

After I finished taking care of business, I felt off. I had a heaviness on my chest that wouldn't go away. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and called a friend to hold space for me as I navigated this heavy energy.

Turns out the heaviness was sadness and grief for believing that I'm not good enough if I don't do things on my own. 

I realized that it didn't even occur to me to call a friend to help me change the tire. It also didn't even occur to me to call a friend to take me home from the car dealership instead of taking an Uber.

I didn't need anyone to help me change the tire. I hired someone for that. I didn't need anybody to take me home from the dealership. I paid Uber for that. However, a part of me that I have been suppressing for a long time wanted someone to share this experience with me. It was a jarring situation that involved a minor accident. Even though I took care of it on my own, I didn't have to do it alone.

This sequence of events taught me a couple things:

  1. My intuition is on point, and I can relax into it and trust more.
  2. I’m very self sufficient and can get shit done with grace under pressure (actually, I already knew that).
  3. Even though I can do things on my own, I don’t have to because I have cultivated a loving community that feels blessed when they get an opportunity to support me.
  4. My giving is out of balance with my receiving. I give a lot more than I allow myself to receive.
  5. When I don’t ask for help, I not only rob myself of the joy of feeling support, but I rob others of the joy of being generous.

I cried so much this weekend as I released these stories into the energy of the full moon:

I have to do everything alone.

I’m the rock who supports everyone and I don’t need support.

Being “self-made” & self-sufficient deserves the highest form of praise.

Everything that happened this weekend, happened for me and provided me with an incredible opportunity to fall more deeply into the loving arms of an incredible community of loved ones that I consistently nurture through my own generosity and now will nurture even more through more fully receiving their generosity. 

I have two questions for you today: Do you know how to change a tire? (just out of curiosity) AND Is your giving and receiving out of balance?

Sit with that and join me in a conversation. I want to hear you. I want to honor you. 

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